Welcome to the new installment to my blog, Saturday Sillies. My plan was to find the most bizarre thing I could find on the internet to share today. I know there can be some doozies out there, lots of hilarious stuff to get you laughing and uplift the spirit for the weekend. But, the most bizarre thing happened to ME yesterday! It wasn’t funny in the moment, but afterward I got a good laugh.
Anyone who knows me knows I have a terribly unhealthy view on relationships…I know it too. I don’t want one. Ever. I will never be the girl who pines away in loneliness and dreams of Mr. Perfect. Nope, not gonna happen. I don’t believe in Mr. Perfect for starters, I can’t stand the idea of being controlled, and I have little girls whose safety I would never risk so that I can have some fun. Not to mention the old adage “I don’t need no man!”
A series of bad experiences and a case of relationship PTSD (no, I’m not kidding!) is the reason for my refusal to participate. However, as I learn about myself and why I see the world the way I do, I am coming to understand, or at least I can acknowledge the possibility, that not every man is bad, and it is possible to have a great romantic relationship. I know the girls will learn from me what to expect from the men in their lives. So, I’m coming around. Slowly. Not that I will ever want one, but I can at least see it’s possible. To that end, I have been in observation mode, watching the people I come in contact with, evaluating them and asking questions about their current and past relationships.
I’ve also mentioned I’m conflict-avoidant, but I haven’t told you that it isn’t just that I would rather not have conflict. It is much more serious than that! I have a physical reaction when I’m in conflict with someone, which I believe has to do with my feeling of losing control. It’s like a fight or flight response, adrenaline courses through my body, my blood pressure goes up and I start sweating. My pulse races, and I feel like I’m overheating. Although I have no interest in men or relationships, I have occasionally met a person I felt attracted to: I’m still alive, after all. Sadly, the few times it’s happened, my body reacted the same way it does in a conflict situation. It hasn’t happened in a long time, so I thought it was no longer a thing.
Anyway, yesterday I had what I thought was a sinus headache all morning. Unfortunately I didn’t have any sinus medicine or ibuprofen with me, but I figured it would go away on it’s own eventually, which it seemed to be.
A gentleman from out of town called with some questions and wanted to come by my office to pick something up. When he arrived I was immediately struck by how handsome he was, but only in a general way, not the Ima faint because he’s so gorgeous way. We chatted, and I took some photos of him in case my editor wanted a story written about him. He was so nice, outgoing and engaging but again, that was just an observation.
Turns out he had been dropped off at my office while the people he was with ran an errand. I was stuck with him, and he sat down at my desk to chat. The first thing I noticed was that my headache was getting worse. It got so bad in fact that I couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything. I was looking for an old article to show him, but I couldn’t find it. My head hurt so badly by this point that I could hardly see the screen, and the dates and file names were all jumbled, I couldn’t make sense of them at all.
I finally gave up trying to find the article, explaining briefly that my head hurt very badly, making it difficult, and I would try again a little later. I was miserable and really wanted him to leave, but as I sat there listening to him talk about his degree, his career experience and current wonderful job in local government where he lives I couldn’t help but think: he’s good looking, educated, successful and really, really nice… Then I began to sweat. Profusely. It felt like someone had a blow torch aimed at me, seriously. My head was pounding, and I was dripping sweat. My ears began to ring, and I became almost overwhelmed by the strange feelings I was having. At that point I actually put my hand to my sweaty head, and I’m looking at this guy thinking “he’s cute for sure, but dang I don’t feel like I’m having a reaction to him, what the heck is going on?” At that moment my stomach lurched and I realized I was about to be sick. I ran as fast as I could, leaving him sitting at my desk alone, hoping desperately that I would make it to the bathroom in time.
I never get sick like that. Like ever. When I came out of the bathroom, cutie patootie was still there. Thankfully he had wondered off and found someone else to talk to. He is such a nice guy that he didn’t even look at me funny. He never missed a beat, smiling and chatting with anyone who would listen. But I was mortified, and so very relived when he finally left. I’m not sure if it was the headache, a reaction to him, or what, but it didn’t happen again after he left. If that’s how I react to having a conversation with a good looking guy, I guess it’s a really good thing I’m not hoping for a relationship! LOL
Do you have a funny or bizarre story you’d like to share? Please do, I would love to read it!
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